Seasons Greetings
Replica Bags WASHINGTON Flanked by officials from the United Elf Toytinkerers union, SantaCorp CEO Kris Kringle today told the House Ways and Means Committee that without immediate government financial help, his firm would be forced to declare bankruptcy, Replica Handbags lay off thousands of elves and reindeer, and potentially cancel its annual worldwide Designer Replica Bags Christmas Eve toy delivery. Replica Bags
“These are grim economic times for everyone, but even more so for non profit toy manufacturers in the Snow Belt,” said Kringle. “Our accountants have indicated that we are on track to exhaust our reserves of cash and magical pixie fairydust https://www.handbagsmerchant.com by December 23. Oh deary me.”
Kringle Replica Bags Wholesale and UET union president Binky McGiggles presented Fake Designer Bags a draft emergency bailout plan high quality replica handbags to the committee calling for US $18 trillion in federal grants, loan guarantees, and sugarplum gumdrops that they said would keep the company Handbags Replica solvent Wholesale Replica Bags through December 26.
Wholesale Replica Bags “We believe this proposal shows that management and labor can work Fake Designer Bags together to craft a reasonable, financially responsible short term survival plan,” said McGiggles. “After the new Congress is seated in January, we would be happy to return to present a long term package to get us through April.” Wholesale Replica Bags
Designer Fake Bags Kringle warned that failure to aaa replica designer handbags approve the plan would have dire global economic KnockOff Handbags consequences. Designer Fake Bags
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SantaCorp, which lost over $2 trillion in FY 2007, has seen a steady erosion in market share and profitability over Designer Fake Bags the last five years. Industry analysts say that its precarious position is due to a number of factors.
wholesale replica designer handbags “You might say it a perfect snowstorm,” said Merrill Lynch analyst Jennifer Rothstein. “The youth consumer market is demanding more for less, at a time when Replica Bags Wholesale the government and courts have forced SantaCorp to wholesale replica designer handbags lower its list credit rating standards. They face increased non union competition from the East Pole, and huge increases in fuel prices for magical reindeer flying hay. It a hard sell for the investment high quality replica handbags community.” wholesale replica designer handbags
high quality replica handbags Veteran market watcher Charles Kessler of ToyWeek said SantaCorp labor cost structure was a significant factor in its recent struggles. high quality replica handbags
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Replica Bags Wholesale Despite the dire picture painted cheap replica handbags by Kringle and union officials, they encountered skeptical questioning from some Designer Fake Bags committee members. Several members slammed the SantaCorp officials for flying to the hearing on a private luxury sleigh, while others openly questioned the company business model. Replica Bags Wholesale
aaa replica designer handbags “Almost every business in my district aaa replica designer handbags has had to adjust to the new economic climate, but SantaCorp seems to believe it purse replica handbags can continue with the same old profligate giveaway business as usual,” said Designer Replica Bags Paul Ryan (R Wisconsin). “I sorry for your situation, but it is difficult to justify giving trillions of US taxpayer dollars to a private company that is outmoded, headquartered offshore, and, frankly, imaginary.” aaa replica designer handbags
Designer Replica Bags Kringle defended the company business practices and his reported 4 billion cookie annual salary, saying that the company was “doing the best we Designer Replica Bags can under trying circumstances.” He also blamed KnockOff Handbags the Fake Designer Bags company struggles in part on federal environmental and safety regulations. Designer Replica Bags
“Frankly the amount of paperwork you require is astronomical,” said Kringle. “OSHA inspections and reporting requirements have doubled our factory production cycle, and every time I tramp a little fireplace soot into a living room I have to fill out three separate EPA environmental impact reports.”
Replica Designer Handbags Kringle also urged the committee to enact aaa replica designer handbags industry tort protections, saying that the company remained saddled with crushing legal and insurance bills replica Purse following the landmark 1974 class action liability case Nader v. Jarts, Clackers, SantaCorp, et al. Replica Designer Handbags
Fake Designer Bags UET President McGiggles warned that failure to pass a bailout package would have dire social consequences. Fake Designer Bags
purse replica handbags “All of you have seen the bleak pictures of how plant layoffs have already effected ToyTown the boarded up gingerbread houses covered in frosting grafitti, the abandoned sleighs up on blocks, the widespread crime and sucrose abuse, the antler wielding gangs of unemployed reindeer yearlings,” said McGiggles. “That is only a hint of what is to come if the plant shuts down. If Fake Handbags you think Wholesale Replica Bags an industry cheap replica handbags bailout is expensive, well, just purse replica handbags consider the cost Designer Replica Bags of a full scale violent rioting by millions of desperate unemployed elves, with warehouses full of surplus BB guns.” purse replica handbags
Replica Handbags House Ways and Means committee chairman Charles Rangel (D New York) motioned to end the aaa replica designer handbags hearings, saying that with only 7 bailout shopping days before Christmas the committee needed to move on to other industries facing emergency financial crises. Replica Handbags
KnockOff Handbags “The American economy Replica Bags and Christmas itself stand on the edge of disaster, It time for my colleagues show we are good boys and replica handbags china girls,” said Rangel, who is Designer Fake Bags reported to have received over $6 million in campaign contributions from SantaCorp and the UET over the last two years. KnockOff Handbags
replica Purse A full House vote on the SantaCorp is scheduled Friday morning, where Wholesale Replica Bags it is expected to pass by a comfortable margin. President Bush has pledged to sign any and all bailout replica handbags china request from Congress until the end of his term, “no queshnions ast.” replica Purse
replica handbags china “I want to insurer the American People and the evil doers that I and the Crongress and the Hankster [Treasury Sec. Paulsen] and Big Ben [possibly Fed Chair Bernanke] and [unintelligible] and me are unineted together to approve the Replica Bags financial aid and regulations and federal takeovers to get our American free ennerpise system back on track,” said the President, speaking from inside his new shoe proof plexiglas enclosure. replica handbags china
cheap replica handbags In concluding the hearings, Rangel gave the SantaCorp officials a personal vote of confidence. cheap replica handbags
“We believe in you, Santa,” said Rangel, handing Kringle what appeared to be a list. “As long as you continue to believe in us.”
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